How might a person, married to someone they love and with whom they are happy, be unhappy being married? And how can they successfully address it?
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Silence in a Relationship
Unfortunately and too often, the proverbial “awkward silence” is interpreted as a sign of trouble in an ongoing relationship or a sign of social anxiety or social ineptitude in more casual relationships—however these interpretations might not always be accurate.
How Could They Have Said That?
Sometimes Condolences Can Hurt, More Than Help.
Unsolicited Advice
Perhaps surprisingly, unsolicited advice can actually harm a relationship rather than strengthen it.
The “Problem” With “Happiness”
Eric Hoffer, the social writer and philosopher, once said "the search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness." Similarly, John Stuart Mill, the British philosopher and social theorist said, "ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so."
Recent Research in the Field of Mental Health (October 2011):
Some adversity in life may improve mental health and well-being by strengthening resiliency, a new study asserts.
Being Kind To Yourself
Sara, a person who has consulted me frequently for help for many years, has been a harsh self-critic; essentially, picking up where both her parents left off. While therapy has helped her to become more accepting of her shortcomings and occasional failures, Sara still, at times, can berate or belittle herself for an occasional error in judgment, a social gaffe, or even a disappointing experience on a blind date.
Recent Research in the Field of Mental Health:
Secondhand smoke may place individuals at greater risk for mental health problems, new research asserts.
Defensiveness – II
"Stop being so defensive!" is a phrase known to have begun or to have escalated many a battle between people in a relationship. The person told to stop being defensive usually responds by stating that he or she is not being defensive. The accuser then uses that response as evidence to prove his point and an argument ensues. The issue that was the subject of the exchange gets lost in the anger-storm and not reopened for some time, if ever.
Handling Rather Than Avoiding
I often hear clients expressing concern about an event or a situation of some kind for which they are experiencing something known as anticipatory anxiety. This is a heightened sense of worry and vigilance about some dreaded event or experience that the anxious individual fears might overwhelm him, sometimes known as the "what-will-happen-next" fear.
