Praise for Help Me!
Read an interview with Dr. Joelson on
PsychologyToday.com's The Author Speaks.
“A debut self-help guide that resists long explanations and jumps directly to solutions for handling relationship problems, anxiety, decision-making, and self-doubt... This book’s format makes it stand out among other self-help offerings. Although the book covers many different topics, it doesn’t gloss over the importance and severity of each patient’s issue; it simply cuts to the chase by defining each of the problems in a straightforward, easy-to-understand way. Overall, this book will be helpful to readers searching for better approaches to self-improvement... A successful survey of common therapy topics with remedies that may provide relief, growth, and lasting change.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“The thought of changing the way that you think about yourself and relate to others can be intimidating, but Joelson’s book is approachable and positive. It does not shy away from hard questions, and it provides the tools needed to address questions fearlessly and reap the benefits of personal growth. Its tone is always affirming, refraining from blame and relentlessly asserting that all people face challenges and all can grow to have healthy relationships despite them.
This book is widely accessible and relevant. Many people want to improve their relationships, break unhealthy patterns, and safeguard their relationships, even in crisis. This title will be a great fit for all of those seekers, anyone questing toward self-improvement, and those in the midst of relational crises, though its holistic benefits will be most accessible to those not in the midst of a trauma.
Joelson’s deep expertise and experience as a therapist give the book a rich value, and it is clear that he enjoys helping people come to healthy realizations...
Help Me! equips people to grow as individuals and have thriving relationships.”
— Foreword Clarion (Five Star Review)
“Help Me! comes from a practicing psychologist who focuses not just on the usual pitfalls of all kinds of relationships, but how to successfully fix them through attitude adjustment and applied psychotherapy. It offers many solid discussions of resilience, adaptation, how individuals adjust to life's challenges, and the special challenges these transitions bring to partnerships...
Plenty of psychology self-help guides provide analysis and case histories, but few offer the specific applications to life that result in clear advice on how to manage or change outcomes...This is just one of the facets that sets Help Me! apart from similar-sounding self-help psychology titles: an attention to taking the examples beyond analysis and into the choices involved in applying insights to different scenarios...
The result is highly recommended for any psychology or self-help reader who would better understand how meaningful change becomes a part of revised life goals and psyches.”
— D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
“Help Me! is a heartfelt and compassionate guide to resolving emotional problems and conflicts in our relationship with ourselves and others. Dr. Joelson, in a lively and engaging style, shows readers how to overcome the obstacles that have kept them stuck. He explains why we are often our own worst enemies and illustrates with vivid examples how to get out of our own way to surmount personal stumbling blocks. With wisdom, empathy, and humor, he clarifies how psychotherapy can help untangle the roots of self-sabotage as well as fostering meaningful growth and change. Help Me! will enhance your ability to live, love, and laugh!”
— Mary Anne Cohen, Director of The New York Center for Eating Disorders
and author of French Toast for Breakfast and Lasagna for Lunch
“Help Me! is Dr. Richard Joelson's latest and most welcome contribution to mental health practice. It is a book that all psychotherapists will wish they had written—useful not only for themselves but as a resource for their patients. Dr. Joselson mobilizes and melds his considerable skills and four decades experience as a practicing psychotherapist.”
— Helene Brenner, M.S.W., LCSW
“Readers of Help Me! have the rare opportunity to peek into the treatment room of an experienced psychotherapist. By presenting real life day-to-day circumstances psychotherapy is demystified and shown to be of value to many people who may have thought otherwise. The author demonstrates how patients can be encouraged to work on and resolve the types of life experiences with which we all struggle. In addition, the clinician’s humanity takes on a major role in the healing process. The book is a gift to prospective patients and clinicians alike.”
— Karen Kaufman, Ph.D., LCSW
“In this wonderful collection of essays, Dr. Joelson captures in everyday language his many years of experience working with patients in a variety of settings and situations. His insights about our relationships with ourselves, others, and the world around us illuminate the ways and places we become stuck and offer suggestions for finding help. This is an excellent book for anyone who is looking for deeper understanding of themselves and these varied relationships.”
— Jay E. Korman, MSW, LCSW, Faculty, Training Institute for Mental Health
“Anyone interested in gaining insight into a happier self will not be disappointed by this page-turning path towards personal fulfillment. Each anecdote provides pause for self-reflection and offers applicable wisdom on the ‘Fears, Feelings, and Facts’ of life.”
— Amy Meyers, PhD, LCSW Psychotherapist
In Help Me! A Psychotherapist’s Tried-and-True Techniques for a Happier Relationship with Yourself and the People You Love, Dr. Richard Joelson presents real-life challenges and the practical solutions that have worked for his patients. His insights are accessible and valuable for people in psychotherapy treatment, but also provide guidance for those who have not yet been able to find the help they need.
”The essays in Help Me! are a collection of observations, ideas, and insights that I have accumulated during my career as a Clinical Social Work Psychotherapist. These ideas and concepts have helped me to become a more effective helping professional.
It has been extremely gratifying to see how some of these ideas have contributed significantly to the growth and general well-being of so many people in my care, and the feedback I have enjoyed convinced me that they have significant value and universal appeal.
It gives me great pleasure to be able to share this knowledge with a wider audience made possible by this book.“— Richard B. Joelson, DSW, LCSW
Download Table of Contents / Introduction
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- Author’s Note
Being: Our Relationship to Ourselves
- Easier or Better?
- Thinking Instead of Doing
- How Not to Feel Sorry for Yourself
- Saying No and Accepting No
- Why Am I Shy?
- Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory
- Pride or Boastfulness?
- Complicated Mourning
- Handling Mistakes and Failures
- The Problem with Happiness
- Being Kind to Yourself
- Self-Blame or Self-Inquiry?
- Handling Rather Than Avoiding
- Sore Losers
- Fears, Feelings, and Facts
- I Can’t Afford That
- What If and So What?
- Road and Sideline Rage
- Personal Decision-Making
- Good Enough—Excellent—Perfect
- Premature Quitting
- Personal Propaganda
Living: Our Relationships with Others
- Handling Criticism
- How Could They Have Said That?
- Cancer of the Mood
- Forgive and Forget
- Listening Patience
- More Listening Patience
- Do You Want My Help or Don’t You?
- Self-Care and the Care of Others
- Refuting Compliments
- Well, If You Put It That Way
- More Thoughts about Defensiveness
Loving: Our Partnered Relationships
- Some Thoughts on What Makes a Relationship Successful
- Chronic Couples Conflict
- Mixed Signals
- When Intimacy Breeds Conflict
- Is Dependency Unhealthy?
- Marriage Is a Verb, Not a Noun
- Marital Dating
- Anger and Couples
- Am I Dating or Am I in a Relationship?
- Saying “I’m Sorry”
- “I’m Really Glad We Had This Talk”
- If There Is an Us, What Happens to Me?
- Having to Be Right
- At the Mercy of the Other
- Handling Your Needs
- Reacting and Responding
- Don’t Just Do Something—Stand There!
Thriving: In All of Our Relationships
- Problem or Condition?
- Think Better, Change Better
- Relief or Change?
- Insight Rich and Change Poor
- Syntonic and Dystonic
- Too Little Sleep
- Locus of Control
- Coping with the Effects of Trauma
- Hidden Depression
- Patient-Doctor Communication
- Hindsight, Insight, and Foresight
Hardcover: $$21.99 - ISBN: 978-0-9972292-1-9
Paperback: $16.99 - ISBN: 978-0-9972292-0-2
eBook: $9.99 - ISBN: 978-0-9972292-2-6
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