As you can probably guess, the gist of the presentation was that marriage is an 'action' word…an action experience; or, should be if it already is not.
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There is a strong tendency on the part of many people to confuse fears, feelings, and facts. In therapy sessions, I often hear statements like the following: "I am definitely not going to get that promotion (raise, award, scholarship, etc.)" or "she is not going to want to go out with me again!" or "there is no way I will get that mortgage I applied for." Certainly, there may be validity to some of these assertions or beliefs, but I wonder why the optimism or hopefulness is missing when these individuals express themselves. Why are they not saying "I hope I get that promotion," or "I would like to think she'll go out with me again," etc.?
Many people who see me in order to explore the possibility of doing ongoing psychotherapeutic work together, are seeing a psychotherapist for the first time and have little or no understanding about how therapy works, what exactly it is they might expect from the experience, and how to actually get involved in the process. Others, have been in therapy before, perhaps many times before, and are, therefore, (as one client described it) "therapy veterans." Some "veterans" are seeking help again because of some new development in their lives that warrants additional treatment; or, perhaps because previous therapeutic ventures, while helpful, did not feel sufficiently completed and they hope to find help with a new clinician.
Rebecca, a new client in my psychotherapy practice, was a recent arrival to New York thanks to a company transfer. She was eager to begin dating and so indicated an intention to join several internet dating services to "get the ball rolling" on her social and romantic life in her new city. She also vowed to join two organizations as additional ways of meeting new people…especially men. After several sessions, I noticed that Rebecca had done nothing along these lines, despite her declared eagerness to do everything she said she would and more.
The terms ego-syntonic and ego-dystonic are part of my standard thinking vocabulary as a psychotherapist. I find them extremely useful in my work when evaluating a client for treatment and I have introduced these terms to clients on many occasions as one way of helping them to better understand themselves.
As a clinical social work psychotherapist, I am often asked a number of very understandable and meaningful questions by clients: “How exactly do people change?” “How will I know when I am really different?” Questions like these often provide an excellent opportunity to clarify the objectives of the treatment. This will help both clinician and client keep a sharp eye on the process so that the goal of eventual change is not lost.
Managing and Treating Depression. People who seek out therapists for help with depression and anxiety have often struggled with these feelings on their own for long periods of time. The decision to seek help may come as a result of feeling frustrated and helpless to resolve a particular issue or because of a chronic unhappiness with their lives.
Why We’re Often Our Own Worst Enemy: After several tries, Jim, age 25, was finally accepted into a prestigious bank management program. Once in the program, however, Jim found it “difficult” to make time to study. Assignments were handed in late, if even completed, and Jim developed severe headaches, all of which eventually led to his being the only trainee to leave the program…just days before he would have been forced to withdraw.