People who suffer from shyness or social anxiety are probably not enjoying life as much as possible. They feel nervous and unsure too much of the time and look to avoid much-feared rejection rather than looking for ways to have satisfying social experiences. Shyness is extremely common. Around 40 percent of the population complains about problems with shyness. Almost everyone has felt shy or socially anxious at some point in life, making shyness a nearly universal experience.
Shyness is characterized by the desire to present a positive image in a social situation, combined with the fear that a negative or undesirable impression will be made. People who struggle with shyness have concerns about how they will be perceived by others. This leads them to withdraw from social situations in order to protect themselves. Rather than risk embarrassment and rejection, shy people would rather make no impression at all and avoid social situations where these dreaded moments might occur. Sadly, this avoidance interferes with their efforts to achieve the very things they desire most: good friends, intimacy, feelings of social competence and social success.
Ironically, the fear that shy people have of not making a good impression may be well founded. Avoidance of social interaction may prevent them from learning how to present themselves favorably, resulting in a self-defeating cycle. The fear of social awkwardness and humiliation leads to avoidance of social situations-the very type of opportunities people need to help them overcome their fears.
Whatever source of help one chooses, it is important to know there are ways to overcome problematic social anxiety. Some people handle their social anxiety by struggling through social interactions, doing the best they can and always hoping that their fears will be less than they have been in prior situations. Others, for whom shyness or social anxiety feels more overwhelming or even debilitating, choose to work on their problem in psychotherapy. Some seek the benefits of anti-anxiety medication and many choose a combination of therapy and medication to address their problem.
Exposure therapy is considered one of the most effective ways to help overcome severe social anxiety. This type of therapy became popular when first introduced as a way to help people who were phobic about air travel. The anxious individual is exposed to the source of fear and helped to reduce their anxiety under the guidance of a helping professional.
Another approach is social skills training in which the anxiety sufferer meets with a professional therapist to discuss and rehearse problematic social situations. Making eye contact, handling small talk, tolerating conversational silences are among the issues worked on to increase self-confidence and reduce anxiety.
