I introduced the concept of mirroring to my clients. Simply, mirroring in this effort, means using "I" language to convey his or her thoughts, feelings, or experiences to the other person in the dialogue. Shaming, blaming, or criticizing the listener is avoided and the person talks about him or herself. The listener echoes the sender's message word for word or by paraphrasing or using a lead sentence like, "Let me see if I've got you. You said..." Mirroring is designed to help a person tune in and carefully listen to what the other person is really saying, rather than listening to the reactions and responses going on in his or her head while the other person is talking. When Rachel and Ira learned to mirror in this way, their communication became much more focused and productive and, rather than continue to recycle their age-old arguments and issues, they began to better resolve conflicts, settle differences, and generally enjoy their communication because it was no longer as frustrating and contentious.
An updated version of Listening Patience - Part 2 is included in my new book, Help Me!. More information, including the table of contents, reviews and purchasing information is available on the Help Me! page.