When forgiveness is somehow linked to a need to forget, the likelihood of achieving the goal of true forgiveness is less likely. We cannot legislate forgetting but it is tempting to view it as a solution to an interpersonal problem. Forgetting may be perceived as a "shortcut" to forgiving; we may imagine "if I could forget about what happened I won't have to go through the work of forgiving."
There are components of forgiveness that are at times difficult to achieve. We need to feel that the person is truly sorry for the pain they have caused us and that they understand the implications of their actions. It also requires that, despite our hurt and anger, we are able to understand how the other could have wronged us. "Forgetting" does not allow for these processes to take place. The following are examples of the issues that need to be faced when "unforgivable offenses" take place.
