A recent research study shows that expressing one’s thoughts and feelings after a traumatic event is not necessary for long-term emotional and physical health. The study, led by UC Irvine psychologist Roxane Cohen Silver, looked at the relationship between immediate expression after the events of September 11, 2001 and mental and physical well-being over time among a nationally representative sample. The research showed, contrary to popular belief, that some people who expressed their thoughts and feelings about the attacks reported increased physical health problems and emotional distress over time. Some participants in the study, who chose not to express thoughts and emotions about the attacks when given an opportunity to do so, appeared to cope successfully and reported fewer diagnosed physical and mental disorders.
On September 11th, 658 members of Cantor Fitzgerald, a financial services firm that occupied the top floors of building #1 of the World Trade Center, were killed. I was asked by the American Red Cross of Greater New York to assist the families who had suffered the loss of a loved one on that fateful day. It was clear to me that some family members needed to talk through what had occurred as a way of coping and recovering and were pleased to have an interested mental health professional available to them for that purpose. Others clearly did not desire this form of help, either because they were not ready to express their grief or else had other supports, like family and friends, with whom they could share their thoughts and feelings about the experience. This was also evident when weeks later I called family members to invite them to attend a short-term weekly support group. For some, this was the call they had been waiting for and eagerly attended the sessions to share and listen to the experiences of others. Others made it clear that the idea of sitting with other sufferers in a group and sharing their grief was likely to cause them greater upset and so politely declined.
Clearly, it is a myth that everyone must express their distress in order to recover from the effects of trauma. Mandatory or required psychological counseling is often unwarranted and universal intervention is likely to be a waste of resources and, even worse, harmful to some. People who want to talk should do so, but not everyone copes in the same way and it is perfectly healthy not to want to express thoughts and feelings.